The Coin Flip Interviews: Mince

Stub caught up with Mince ahead of their set at the New Headingley Club for the coin flip interviews; where the flip of a coin decides the questions put to the band. Heads, a serious one. Tails, something a bit weird. 

HEADS: Yard Act had the golden rover, if you could have any vehicle to tour with, what would it be?

Jamie: I don’t think we could do it with the Mini. I think my cars more suited for it.

Matthew: Jamie’s shitty Audi, the ‘Shaudi’.

Stub: It’s got the same ring as the golden rover. 

Clem: You said this wasn’t going to be surreal. Maybe I don’t want to drive, maybe I prefer taking ‘TPE’, Trans Pennine Express, every morning. £114 on an m card. 

Matthew: That’s actually quite a lot. 

Clem: I’ve already said my piece. 

Jamie: I think we all share the Shaudi. 

Matthew: The Shaudi may be the Shaudi, but it has served us well. 

Clem: A vehicle usually demands a destination. Can I posit your question with another question? To what destination are we going? If it’s alpine, we are going to need a vehicle with skies. 

Matthew: I think it is Alpine as we are going straight to the top. 

**Collective groans** 

TAILS: A sentient wheel of edam cheese has challenged you to a brawl. Which band member are you choosing to fight it and what tune would be playing in the background? 

Jamie: I’d pick George to fight anyone. 

Matthew: you always want to pick George in a fight.

George: not against cheese though. 

Jamie: Yeah I suppose, it is solid isn’t it. What song do we think? 

Owen: I think the entertainer.

**Collective Agreement**

Matthew: How does the cheese fight? Does it roll?

Stub: Good question, what if you are on flat land or a hill? The question really doesn’t specify, so you can choose the terrain. 

Rowan: What if it was on a hill and it was the cheese rolling thing? 

Jamie: Yeah, that’s what I was picturing. 

Matthew: I’d still back George.

George: There’s only one way to find out. Bring in the cheese. 

Clem: I’ve always wanted to meet cheese. 

TAILS: This is a two parter…you played Chapel Allerton festival in August; we heard it was your biggest crowd yet. Tell us a little bit about that gig. How did you find it? 

Matthew: It was fun. I think they said there was about 2,000 people there. There definitely wasn’t 2,000 people and there definitely wasn’t 2,000 people actually paying attention to us.

Stub: Was that like the recent far-right rally in London where they said there was 3 million people? 

**Collective mocking**

Matthew: The only downside to the gig was that someone attending the event had left their car with the breaks off and it was rolling down the hill, so the compere had to come on after a couple of songs to announce this and that and the police were there. The persons name was **REDACTED**. Name and shame, they ruined our set. If they’re out there, thank you in a way for giving us that story. 

Stub: send them a CD.

Matthew: Yeah, we’ve got plenty of CD’s so you can have one. 

Right second part, if your sound could be bottled and sold at a village fete or festival what would the label say, and would it be safe for goats to drink? 

Jamie: For what, goats?

Stub: yes. 

Jamie: What can goats drink? 

Clem: Travis Scott can drink anything. 

*collective confusion*

Clem: I roll 12 to fuck the cheese.

Rowan: I did not understand that at all. You’ve lost me. 

Clem: It’s dungeons and dragons and a call-back to the cheese.

Matthew: Come on, keep up. I don’t think we would be a nice drink. It would be a backwashy, drainwater, rainwater type of mixtures and it would be called liquid brown. The goats would love it. 

George: Pepto-Bismol.

Stub: We might just lead with that.  

**Matt Goes Gigs enters**

Jamie: Matt, if Mince was bottled and sold, what would it be?

Matt: Ooo like a nice refreshing lemonade or a nice lager. 

Owen: How about a shandy, halfway? 

Matthew: Yeah that’s good, that’s better than anything we’ve said. 

HEADS: Stub Quarterly is a celebration of the past, present and future of the Leeds music scene. We want to know: 

1.Best band who are no longer with us (not dead just defunct)

2.Favourite Leeds band currently. 

3.Your hot tip; who is the future of the Leeds music scene? 

Matthew: Well, we know who the future is, shall we say it on 3,2,1…

Collectively: Bathing Suits 

Owen: I was going to say Mince.

Jamie: Bathing Suits are doing crazy, crazy things right now. 

Matthew: A defunct band, I would say I really miss Mush. 

Jamie: I know it’s not Leeds, but I really miss Cabbage. I stopped really listening to them, but then there’s a hole where Cabbage was. I can feel it on a regular basis. 

Clem: Trinkets. 

Jamie: Well no, Trinkets was a necessary thing to launch New Damage, Bathing Suits, the new version of Kiosk, Bank Details as well. 

Jamie: I am really enjoying Vehicle as well right now. Michael Cable’s solo stuff is great as well. 

Stub: He’s a poet.

TAILS: Would you rather have drumsticks for fingers or guitar string for hair? 

Matthew: Drumsticks for fingers. 

Jamie: You would say that as the drummer.

Rowan: It would be so annoying, imagine trying to open a door and they would erode away. 

Matthew: Do they grow back? 

Owen: Could you trim the Guitar strings down to stubs? 

Stub: you probably could do yeah.

*Dominic from Coal Mob enters*

Jamie: Dominic, what would you rather have, drumsticks for fingers or guitar string for hair?

Dominic: Guitar strings for hair. 

Jamie: Shall we have a definitive answer or agree to disagree? I think the guitar string for hair, but the thing is you are going to feel the hair. 

Clem: You know how every human has a seam that runs from the top to the bottom, right down the middle. It’s almost as if as the cells are dividing in the womb, 2 to 4 to 8 to 16 to 32 it’s the power of who knows. 

Stub: I don’t think we have room for that on the front cover.

Matthew: Was that it? 

Clem: No, imagine if your seam was a flat wound bass string. 

Jamie: Yes, we choose the third option have the seam as a base string. 

So final question, what’s next for mince?

Jamie: We have some great gigs coming up, so follow our socials to see what’s coming. 

Matthew: We might have vinyl by the time this comes out so buy that or a CD.

A big thanks to Mince, Matt Goes Gigs (@mattgoesgigs) and Dominic for taking part in the first coin flip interview!

Interview by the Editor and Magnus Pike.